When it comes to criticism, we are our worse critic. After reading this quote online a few weeks ago, I became more self aware of how I treat myself. I realized I am a bully. Especially when I indulge in sweets or other bad foods. After eating a delicious cookie I think to myself, “I am never going to lose weight and I will never be able to wear a bikini again.” Then I feel horrible and indulge myself even more out of self-hate and pity. I don’t even enjoy the food that I claim to love, because I am to busy feeling crappy. I realized that me being hard on myself is a trigger that makes me overeat more than I should. I read a quote online the other day that really stuck to me. “If the voice in your head was one of your friends, would you still be friends with it?” It made me become more aware of how I treat myself. I don’t give myself any credit not even academically. I have learned to tell myself “It is alright, you will do better next time.”
Although I have not been doing the real food challenge, I have incorporated some of the habits into my lifestyle. During the week I mostly eat fruit and vegetables, while splurging on the weekends sometimes. I have learned to not mentally punish myself or hate myself for indulging in my favorite foods especially sweets. I will pick up a cookie maybe once a week and I sit there, enjoy it, and leave satisfied. With this new mindset I look at the things that I have done that aren’t very desirable as “sunk costs.” This is a term that I picked up in my accounting class this semester. It means that the cost is irrelevant to future costs, because it has already been incurred. All these insignificant actions are irrelevant to my future, so I continue to look at the things that I can do in the future to better myself. Not about that milkshake I drank earlier today. Whether I stress about what I ate earlier or not, it has already happened, so I might as well not stress and enjoy the day. I hope that by being a better friend to myself and being encouraging and motivating rather than tearing myself down, I can achieve my goals and see my downfalls as lessons rather than failures.